How to Write a Short Story

1) Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he/she will not feel the time was wasted
2) Give the reader at least one character that he/she can root for.
3) Every character should want something, even if it's just a glass of water.
4) Every sentence should do one of two things. Reveal character, or advance the action
5) Start as close to the end as possible
6) Be a sadist, no matter how sweet your character is. Make awful things happen to them, so that the reader can understand what your character is made of.
7) White just to please one person.
8) Give your reader as much information as possible as soon as possible. (Screw suspense! This is a short story, the reader should be able to finish the story should the last few pages get eaten by cockroaches)